I don't really know what to say right now.
I don't know what I should be feeling right now.
cause being happy or sad doesn't really cut it now.
some thing's wrong with feeling that.

something funny happened last night. I was talking with a friend of mine, and she mentioned something that happened back in 2002...then she said 'whoa...2002...'...that made me really think that a long time has passed since now. And though I'm still young, I'm getting older by the minute, I can actually feel it.
I don't really feel like I'm living the way I should. The way a 17 year old should...a part of me still wishes I was 16.
and by the time I grow up, I'll look back and regret the way I'm living now, I'll tell myself that I've wasted my life, just like I wasted my own birthday this year....That's what I've been thinking ever since January.

I don't mean to be emo or dark or always sad or anything...but that's what's on my mind right now..after all, that's what this place's about. To unload the cargo and come back with more.

Can I change? How Can I? Where do I start? and Where is it leading? these are the questions I should be asking myself, Yet...I'm such a lazy person to do anything about it...I'm still wrapped up in the strings of what's around me, and in order for me to change that, I need to cut those strings one at a time.

If you ever need me, tell me so. If you do not need me, tell me so.
cause I'd like to know if I should stick around, or step back and walk away.

I'm a Celestial Delinquent come true.
A puppet of a cruel master.
Bleeding gold to paint over an empty grey.
Motionlessly on a silver platter.

the thing is, someday I'll run out of this golden blood...and I won't be able to paint over empty greys anymore...

Valentine's Day, huh?

Valentine's don't mean much to me...since it's only meant to be spent with someone else, unfortunately, I don't have anyone till now so...you could see how this is a punch in the face of all singles, it's like everything around you on that day screams 'SUCK IT!'.....yeah.
What makes it worse is that you look around you and you see that everyone (and I mean Everyone!) has received something on that day...and (shockingly!) I didn't......eh... not even a single rose of that god damned 100 roses bouquet.

It's been a little hard on me these days to work with this broken arm of mine...it's not broken, but it hurts like a bitch still....I mean it's better than before, but it's still pretty bad...I should have taken the car's number before it hit me....I was stupid to let him go...
Sometimes I think I'm a little too nice for my own good.....it's true, isn't it?

Another thing that bums me out is that my class field trip got canceled....sure it was stupid and lame and all, but the concept itself is what's important...cause we, the science students, need a little break from all the work we do, believe me. Today was the field trip for classes S-1 and S-2......S-3 and S-4 are supposed to go that indoor ice skating trip on Sunday...but as a girl in my class said "one's mistake effects the whole group"....around 6Th period, some girl in my class got caught fiddling with her cell phone in the middle of class (cell phones are not allowed in my school) So we got a lecture about it. In the end, we were stripped from our right to that field trip....smart, huh?

Last, I'd like to tell myself that...I'm letting go of something I've been holding on to for sometime now....well...It wasn't really mine to begin with , but I guess I kinda realized that now. And I have to let go now cause at any other time, It'll be harder on me. It did make me a bit stronger...more confident...but..I wasn't supposed to 'Trust'.....'Trust' really isn't my thing.
So I'm saying goodbye now...

Say Goodbye...

So...To satisfy your annoying need, here you go, Mira....Fuckin' Rock'n Roll, huh?

so, Ladies and Gents...Apparently I'm still alive and kicking, as you see.
got a new haircut for the new semester...isn't that classic? I can say it's shorter than before...
And you're looking at a girl who refused to cut her hair for 5 years till last June...

So, The T-N : Battle of The Online Bands is on it's way...one more day and the door closes...and so begins my job as the organizer...gotta upload the entries, decide on a format for the official thread, work on the prizes and stuff.....work work work....Not to mention the overwhelming schoolwork and the heart-wrecking coughs I still suffer from... (I was sick for like 2 weeks or less...I would've coughed my heart out.)

And so I go back to my life-less lifestyle (whatever that is) filled with words, notes and strings.
Hoping I'd do a little better this semester than the last. and for it It be less hectic..but we all know that isn't gonna happen now, is it?

I should sing something..............