A little something of me, a bit too into my guitar. This picture has been taken a few weeks ago, when I had my 'mini-performance'. Of course, it was full of poses, but this one's real.

Yesterday I was over at Sara's place...I went over there to make her brand new guitar 'work', I just don't understand why the girl would buy a guitar without even knowing how to play it. Well, I guess she will now.

Anyways, we started discussing our future plans and college and stuff...we agreed that, if I end up going to college here, we're gonna be roommates...it's all fine by me...If I stay here after graduation.

To be honest, I don't know where I wanna go anymore...reasons for me traveling are decreasing...but there are some solid reason that still hang on to that wall. I want to travel, I want to meet people, I want to do the stuff I wasn't able to do here...but it all seems all like a selfish act of me, with so much 'I's in my speech...

then again, I've always been selfish...I don't know if this makes it any different or not...but whenever I think about the subject, I always tell myself that it's too early for that kinda thinking...but it's not, I know it's not...I'm in denial, I'm still thinking I'm this little kid, but I'm not all grown up either, so it's a pretty shitty place right now...it really makes you think about yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, abilities, disabilities, hopes and dreams, what you want to do and what you need to do...

I think that, one of my abilities is that I leave a good impression and get inside the heart, for the first while at least...but then comes a disability...I'm unable to stay there. I haven't met any new people and I'm driving the close ones that are already there, away...I don't have the ability to turn some one's insides out, to make someone think of my name or the stuff I said before going to bed or waking up in the morning...pretty sad isn't it? I can't say I'm alone, but I'm definitely lonely.

But let's look on the bright side, I'm a private person by nature. I kinda like people to respect my over-privacy. You have to dig your way in to breach this little shell I've created for myself. But it's good over all if you don't. If you're there in times I need you and show it, then I'll be fine. if it's not too much to ask..

I won't get myself back together from this whole I've fallen into till I learn how to trust myself and get back my trust in others...till that time, as Sara might put it, Let's all hide behind the big red curtain.