Seventeen, huh?

Seventeen years....Seventeen years and I'm still locked up inside this 'shell' of mine...

All these years I've grown up to become what I am right now...I didn't want to end up this way but somehow I did...
They say that the problem's in me, I say the problem is what's around me...they say that I'm the bigger part of the problem...and I stay quiet....
What have I done to be the person I am today? A person who doesn't know how to have fun, apparently...
I'm not that bad of a person...I admit that I have a little trouble dealing with things...But...is it that bad?
Is my way of dealing with what's around me that bad?

These years I'm living in...I call them the 'Numb' years...cause I know I'm not doing much in them...Hopefully I can break the seventeen year record this year.

Everyone who thought of me today, I'd like to thank you very much for taking the time and wish me a happy birthday, you're the ones who made my day today.

signing off into my first day as a 17 year old.

[Edit]

......................................................

What the hell is happening? Why do I come off being stupid to anyone? Why do I end up being fucking used then getting blamed for the slightest thing?
Seriously, am I that bad of a person?! Am I that weak and reckless?
I'm fucking tired of everything around me, just fucking tired.
Fucking tired of hearing that I'm a fucking disappointment. Fucking tired of being described as unable to handle responsibility. Fucking tired of being stabbed in the back.


Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!

I just started to cheer up. Do not fucking bring me down again/