A Time of Confusion.
These past few days were filled with running emotions. Something that never really bothered me before has started to affect me greatly, in every aspect of my life, to the point where it became all I think about these days.
When I do think about it, sadness takes over me...anger...anxiety, envy...mixed feeling all together. I don't know if it's depression or it's just a phase where my hormones are acting up like a fuckin school girl with a skinned knee. Whatever the hell it is, I've got to find a way to stop it...stop these crying episodes...get rid of the problem once and for all....
I looked around me for some comfort, to take away this uneasy feeling, or a shoulder to cry on. But I'm all alone...I'm all alone in this, No one would help me, even if they could. cause I'm the only one who has to help me. But haven't I been trying all my life? Haven't I tried and tried so hard to seem normal? At least I thought I was...Till it finally hit me that all I've been doing, is being a fake. Pretending to be normal is getting really old, tiring, and stressful.
I'm just really confused right now about my place...like...really...I'm basically trying to isolate myself even more, turning myself from human to shadow. Hoping no one would notice me anymore. Locking myself up in my room, do my daily task of studying, and have an episode or two where I just cry for no reason. It has never been like this.
Am I really smart? Am I really?
When I do think about it, sadness takes over me...anger...anxiety, envy...mixed feeling all together. I don't know if it's depression or it's just a phase where my hormones are acting up like a fuckin school girl with a skinned knee. Whatever the hell it is, I've got to find a way to stop it...stop these crying episodes...get rid of the problem once and for all....
I looked around me for some comfort, to take away this uneasy feeling, or a shoulder to cry on. But I'm all alone...I'm all alone in this, No one would help me, even if they could. cause I'm the only one who has to help me. But haven't I been trying all my life? Haven't I tried and tried so hard to seem normal? At least I thought I was...Till it finally hit me that all I've been doing, is being a fake. Pretending to be normal is getting really old, tiring, and stressful.
I'm just really confused right now about my place...like...really...I'm basically trying to isolate myself even more, turning myself from human to shadow. Hoping no one would notice me anymore. Locking myself up in my room, do my daily task of studying, and have an episode or two where I just cry for no reason. It has never been like this.
Am I really smart? Am I really?
posted by Celestial Delinquent at 11:15 PM
2 Comments:
*huggles*
D= Don't give up now! Nyo!
answering your last Question ! yes you are smart .. and strong ! Maha this is just another obstacle in your life .. you were ought to face one sooner or later .. so now you are in a challenge , you are strong and you can make it throughout this .. kust keep you spirit high
^^
<3 always Hala
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