One of those days where I can't just relax.
Less sleep, barely stay focused and my eating is getting messed up....well...I'm not complaining about the eating thing, I did lose weight...which is something needed. But my face looks tired, and my eyes have sunken in their pockets. Like I need any blackness under my eyes.
Something weird happened today...I was coming back home from school, and I see this family getting into the elevator with me, I offered to press the button for them....then they made small talk.....You know how awkward I got? I got weird, I talked in really short sentences, and I kinda stuttered....this proves it, I'm really anti-social. I have a problem dealing with people, I think... I lack communication and social skills. That is why I'm so isolated.
I wanna get excited...motivate and be motivated. I lack something to wake up for in the morning. School doesn't even matter anymore. I need to find me an addiction. Someone to take my mind off of things, to keep me away from myself, cause when I'm with myself, I think, and when I think, I get depressed, and when I get depressed....its' not pretty.
School's ending in a few weeks, I shouldn't be thinking about this right now, but I am. College is what I aim for, but every day, a part of this aspiration fades. With the pace I'm walking, with the way I'm thinking, with a dad like mine, and with a major like that in mind, there's no way I'm going abroad...I'm confused, I don't even know what I wanna study anymore...I'm confused about everything, I don't know what's important and what's not.
Someone who meant a lot to me in the past, has appeared again....but...the funny thing is, I didn't even bother to take the time and say hi....it's funny...sometimes, I wouldn't sleep for that person, stay up all night waiting for them just to talk for a few minutes. ..yeah, that's how much they meant to me...but not anymore...I guess I have changed, and my priorities with them...I wonder if that person's the same...well, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just suck it up, Maha, will you? You're acting like a kid and you're depressing who's around you!
Something weird happened today...I was coming back home from school, and I see this family getting into the elevator with me, I offered to press the button for them....then they made small talk.....You know how awkward I got? I got weird, I talked in really short sentences, and I kinda stuttered....this proves it, I'm really anti-social. I have a problem dealing with people, I think... I lack communication and social skills. That is why I'm so isolated.
I wanna get excited...motivate and be motivated. I lack something to wake up for in the morning. School doesn't even matter anymore. I need to find me an addiction. Someone to take my mind off of things, to keep me away from myself, cause when I'm with myself, I think, and when I think, I get depressed, and when I get depressed....its' not pretty.
School's ending in a few weeks, I shouldn't be thinking about this right now, but I am. College is what I aim for, but every day, a part of this aspiration fades. With the pace I'm walking, with the way I'm thinking, with a dad like mine, and with a major like that in mind, there's no way I'm going abroad...I'm confused, I don't even know what I wanna study anymore...I'm confused about everything, I don't know what's important and what's not.
Someone who meant a lot to me in the past, has appeared again....but...the funny thing is, I didn't even bother to take the time and say hi....it's funny...sometimes, I wouldn't sleep for that person, stay up all night waiting for them just to talk for a few minutes. ..yeah, that's how much they meant to me...but not anymore...I guess I have changed, and my priorities with them...I wonder if that person's the same...well, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just suck it up, Maha, will you? You're acting like a kid and you're depressing who's around you!
Labels: awkward meeting, college, what's important?
posted by Celestial Delinquent at 8:57 PM
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